Funny jokes

It's in BM ...
Here goes ...:




Satu SK mempunyai seorang cikgu yang garang dan beliau selalu mentegur murid-muridnya. Semua murid di SK tersebut sangat takut pada cikgu itu. Pada suatu hari pula ....



Cikgu : (masuk kelas)



Murid : Selamat pagi, cikgu.

Cikgu : (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja? Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat?

Murid : Selamat pagi, petang dan malam cikgu!

Cikgu : Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan penuh bermakna. Lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua masa dan keadaan.

Murid : Selamat sejahtera cikgu!
Cikgu : Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik. Hari ini cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang perkataan berlawan. Bila cikgu sebutkan perkataannya, kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan bagi perkataan-perkataan itu, faham?

Murid : Faham, cikgu!



Cikgu : Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.

Murid : (senyap)

Cikgu : Pandai!

Murid : Bodoh!

Cikgu : Tinggi!

Murid : Rendah!

Cikgu : Jauh!

Murid : Dekat!

Cikgu : Keadilan!

Murid : UMNO!

Cikgu : Salah!

Murid : Betul!

Cikgu : Bodoh!

Murid : Pandai!

Cikgu : Bukan!

Murid : Ya!

Cikgu : Oh Tuhan!

Murid : Oh Hamba!

Cikgu : Dengar ini!

Murid : Dengar itu!

Cikgu : Diam!

Murid : Bising!

Cikgu : Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh!

Murid : Ini ialah jawapan, pandai!

Cikgu : Mati aku!

Murid : Hidup kami!

Cikgu : Rotan baru tau!

Murid : Akar lama tak tau!

Cikgu : Malas aku ajar kamu!

Murid : Rajin kami belajar cikgu!

Cikgu : Kamu gila!

Murid : Kami siuman!

Cikgu : Cukup! Cukup!

Murid : Kurang! Kurang!

Cikgu : Sudah! Sudah!

Murid : Belum! Belum!

Cikgu : Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat?

Murid : Sebab saya seorang pandai!

Cikgu : Oh! Melawan!

Murid : Oh! Mengalah!

Cikgu : Kurang ajar!

Murid : Cukup ajar!

Cikgu : Habis aku!

Murid : Kekal kami!

Cikgu : O.K. Pelajaran sudah habis!

Murid : K.O. Pelajaran belum bermula!

Cikgu : Sudah, bodoh!

Murid : Belum, pandai!

Cikgu : Berdiri!

Murid : Duduk!

Cikgu : Saya kata UMNO salah!

Murid : Kami dengar KeADILan betul!

Cikgu : Bangang kamu ni!

Murid : Cerdik kami tu!

Cikgu : Rosak!

Murid : Baik!

Cikgu : Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini!

Murid : Dilepaskan tengah malam itu!

Cikgu : (Senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar.)



Murid-murid semua berasa bangga kerana hari ini mereka telah menghabiskan pelajaran tanpa ditegur.

This is another joke in Chinese ...




小学生造句 ..很好笑。。
Funny - 小学生造句

1.题目: 原来
小朋友写: 原来他是我爸爸。
老师评语: 妈妈关切一下

2.题目: ..一边...........一边............ ..
小朋友写: 他一边脱衣服 ,一边穿裤子.
老师评语: 他到底要脱还是要穿啊~~

3.题目: 其中
小朋友写: 我的其中一只左脚受伤了。
老师评语: 你是蜈蚣？~~

4.题目: 一... 就....
小朋友写: 一只娃娃就要一百块。
老师评语: 老师笑到不行..

5.題目: 你看
小朋友写: 你看什么看! 没看过啊

6. 照样造句
例题: 你 (唱歌) 我(跳舞)
小朋友写: 你(好吗 ) 我(很好)
老师评语: 你在写英文翻译吗??

7.照样造句
例题: 别人都夸我( )，其实我( )
小朋友写: 别人都夸我( 很帅 )，其实我( 是戴面具的)。
老师评语: 什么面具这么好用???

8.题目: 好... 又好..
小朋友写: 妈妈的腿,好细又好粗...
老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗？

9.题目: 陆陆续续
小朋友写: 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师评语: 你到底有几个爸爸呀?

10.题目: 皮开肉绽
小朋友写: 停电的夜晚，到处很黑，我吓得皮开肉绽!
老师评语: 看到这句... 老师佩服你。

11.题目: 欣欣向荣-比喻生长美好的样子。
小朋友写: 我的弟弟长得欣欣向荣。
老师评语: 孩子，你弟弟是植物人吗...
还有一个更瞎的…
小朋友写: 欣欣向荣荣告白。
老师评语: 连续剧不要看太多~~

12. 题目: 谢谢....因为......
小朋友写: 我要谢谢妈妈,因为她每天都帮我写作业......
老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!

13.题目: 难过
小朋友写: 我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师评语: 老师更难过......

14. 题目: 天才
小朋友写: 我３天才洗一次澡。
老师评语: 要每天洗才干净~~

15.題目: 一… 便…
小朋友写: 我一走出门，对面就是便利商店。
还有一個更瞎的…
小朋友写: 哥哥一吃完饭，就大便。
老师评语: 造句不要乱造...

16.題目: 又.....又.....
小朋友寫: 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。
老师评语:你妈妈......是怪物吗?

17果然
上课小朋友说：昨天我吃了水果，然后又喝了凉水
老师：这是词组，不能分开造句。
小朋友又说：老师，我还没说完呢，果然晚上我拉肚子了！
老师：…………

18 瓜分
小朋友：大傻瓜分不清是非
老师：小傻瓜也分不清

19 好吃
小朋友：好吃个屁
老师：………

20 况且
小朋友：一辆火车经过，况且况且况且况且．．．．．
老师：……………

Dun make me laugh pls

你在学海部落格抄的哦？？？~~~~~

我看过了~~~~很 kuso 啊 !!!!~~~

haha ... no.

got in 4m email ...

no comment on tis ... = ="



A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter,
who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner.

When the girl's father came to know about their love,
he did not like it at all, and so began to protest
about it.

Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave
their homes for a happy future. The girl's father
started searching for the two lovers but could not
find them.

At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come
back home in a local newspaper. Her father said "If
you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy
you love, I accept that you loved each other
truly".

So in this way, their love won and they returned home.
The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress.
He was dressed in white shirt that day.

While he was crossing the road to the other side to
get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him
and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses.

It was only after sometimes that she recovered from
her shocked. The funeral and cremation was the very
next day because he had died horribly.

Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in
which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her
mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her
daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother
ignored the dream.

The next night her father had the same dream, he also
ignored it.

Then when the girl had the same dream the next night,
she woke up in fear and told her mother about the
dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which
have blood stains immediately.

She washed the stains but some remained. Next night
she again had the same dream she again washed the
stains but some still remained.

Next night she again had the same dream and this time
the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood
stain, or else something terrible will happen.

This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains,
and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still
remained. She was very tired.

In the late evening the same day while she was alone
at home, someone knocked the door. When she opened the
door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing
at her door. She got very scared and fainted.

The old lady woke her up..., and gave her an blue
object, which shocked the girl. She asked "What is
this..? "

The old lady replied...

"Try Dynamo Liquid Soap... just a dab and it will
remove all stubborn stains!!!"

I know how you all are feeling now...I have been
through this too mah. But don't look at me like that
leh...I'm also hunting for the idiot who mailed this
to me...!!

ConfusingChineseNames

Caller :Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator :Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller :No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator :You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller :I'm SamWan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.

Operator :I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller :Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.

Operator :Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgen t matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller :You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator :I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller :Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ======
This is hilarious....

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:

Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
SuzieLeow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)

Pass around for some laughter*

Dear Ah Lian,

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything?
For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look?

Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take
I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he
take we all go to kalah ok. Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky
bright.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari.
My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must
come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me.

Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me.

I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call
me.



Goo bye.....

Worm regard,
Ah Beng

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market
them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the
supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and
now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk.
They go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine
instead. Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu







well ... i dun quite understand da last 1...
but nvm ...

7 reasons NOT to mess with children ....


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.


The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.






A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'






A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'






One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'







The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor..'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'






A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'







I LIKE THE NEXT ONE IN PARTICULAR



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Walou~~~~~ i love tis topic ...... lol

funnny name a lot leh @@''~~~~

haha ... good lor ...

cause i c many ppl now stress up bcause of assignment/ exam/ etc, so i try to share sum jokes ....


hope it helped ya all to destress ... lolz

it worked 4 my friends so i hope it work 4 ya all too ...


any1 got sum jokes to share oso can post it here ~~~~~ X3

4 dog loverz ~~~!!!! X3


Dog's wisdom best ever ...

1)The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous


2)There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams


3)A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings


4)The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney


5)Dogs love their friends & bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love & always have to mix love & hate.
-Anonymous


6)Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones


7)If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise ..
-Unknown


8)My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein


9)Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A Heinlein


10)If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain


11)Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras


12) If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret
[b]

WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts..

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

What is the hardest thing to break?

Diamonds are hard to find but not hard to break.

What is the hardest thing to break then?
Think... Think... Think again... Think again...

Scroll down for the answer but only after thinking, OK? Don't give up. Winners never quit. Quitters never win.

Answer: You really don't know???










The answer is:


HABIT

If you break the H, you still have A BIT.
If you break the A, you still have BIT.
If you break the B, you still have IT!!!

Hey, after you break the T in IT, there is still the "I".
The person at the end of the day, is the root of all the problems. Cute???

Now, I know why HABIT is so hard to break. Its destiny is in its name. The word itself.

My lecturer taught me never, never, never to ASSUME .
Because it makes an "ASS" out of "U" and "ME"...



note by G: now I noe y there r a skill called clarifying in counselling ... lolz ...

1 DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity.
Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed
for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.

2 DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that
wear bras for more than 12 hours have
a higher risk of getting breast cancer.
So go to bed without it.

3 DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere
near you is not encouraged.
Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks,
but please put the phone as far as possible.
Scientists have proved that electrical items including
mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used.
These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system.
Therefore if you need to put your mo! bile phone near you,
switch it off first.

4 DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might have
skin problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have
difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring.
You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

Lastly.....

5 DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE / HUSBAND
You may never wake up again. =]

The "Middle Wife" " by an Anonymous 2nd grade
teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years.
I have two kids myself, but the best birth story
I know is the one I saw in my own second grade
classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I
always have a few sessions with my students.
It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet
turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they
catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place
any boundaries or limitations on them. If they
want to lug it in to school and talk about it,
they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a verybright,
very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles
up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed
under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke,
my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about
his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love,
and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke
grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and
I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder
with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts
saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand
behind her back and groans. "She walked around the
house for, like an hour,'Oh, oh, oh!'
(Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies,
but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's
man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this."
(Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept
in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and
spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"
(This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming
water flowing away. It was too much!)

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and
'breathe, breathe, breathe. They started counting, but
never even got past ten.

Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. Hewas
covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from
Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys
inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and
returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the
loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell
day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another
"Middle Wife" comes along.

1。有两个人到海边去玩，突然有一个人被一阵浪卷走了，被卷走的人叫小明，剩下的那个人叫什么?

2。透明的剑是什么剑?

3。有一只小白猫掉进河里了，一只小黑猫把它救了上来，请问 ：小白猫上岸后的第一句话是什么?

4。是太阳叫公鸡起床还是公鸡叫太阳起床？

5。五成熟的牛排碰到八成熟的牛排，它们为什么不打招呼？

6&# 12290;一个人从四楼掉下来跟从四十楼掉下来，有什么不同？


想知道答案吗？

先自己好好想想吧






























揭晓答案

1。叫救命~

2。看不见（剑）

3。喵~

4。是公鸡，因为太阳不会叫

5。因为它们不熟

6。一个是：嘭——啊，一个是：啊——嘭

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday


Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in
this case. You
see, I won't be of much help anyway!!


Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.


Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.


Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?


Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!


Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can
keep it.


Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!

gals... this is a good one...hahaha...
Men Never Listen!


On a flight to Singapore, a gentleman had made several
attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had
always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his
predicament. Sir, she said "You may use the ladies
room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on
the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he
noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each
button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a
red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched
them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm
water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice
feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice
things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he
pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water,
gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large
powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile
scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure.
The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is
tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed
its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button
which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. Next
thing he knew he was in a hospital as he opened his eyes.

A nurse was staring down at him with a smile on her
face. "What happened?" he exclaimed.

"You pushed one too many buttons," replied the nurse.

"The last button marked ATR was an AutomaticTampon
Remover. Your balls are in the bucket under the bed"

Walou~~~~need ma ==''~~~
the story line so long read till dizzy liao lor T.T

haha ... dun worry ....
will stop 4 time being ...

nothin 2 share liao ...

i said that but ...
here again ... lolz ...


What is Marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing


You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.


You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.


You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it,offer her a ride,
and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.


You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich, I want to marry you."
That's Brand Recognition.


You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback.

hehe quite funny